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broken heart

Its now been 4 days since the heart breaking decision to send off my best mate "chewie", malamute/staghound cross. He was 12 years old and his poor old legs just couldnt lift him up anymore. It was a very distressing thing for me and i have been crying ever since. I cant seem to find a way through it, he has left a huge hole. I dont have anyone much to lean on at the moment. He has broken my heart. I hope soon I can replace the pain with happy tear free memories of a great friend that he was.

How have others manged to cope?

Thankyoucreated at: 03 03 12

Post Comments

    • chewieandrich
      chewieandrich     Posted on Nov 25, 2012

      9 months without my mate, everyday thinking of you and feeling miserable that i sent you off. Its a struggle.

    • Alicia
      Alicia     Posted on Mar 11, 2012

      I'm so sorry about your baby. I don't know what to tell you about getting over it. It has been four months since I lost my boy, and I live with the loss every day.

      I think some of them touch our souls completely. And that's a good thing. They make us better, kinder, more tolerant people. I know my little guy did. 

      I'm sure Chewie knew how much you loved him, and would want you to remember the good times, though I know how hard that is.

    • chewieandrich
      chewieandrich     Posted on Mar 11, 2012

      Thanks katrina and everyone for your comments and thoughts, I am improving slowly and can now talk about him without losing it completely.(but i still have my moments) I would consider myself a strong person as chewie was of strong character. Such a powerful thing is grief, the level of which i have never encountered before. Every emotion has been coursing through my body in the last 2 weeks which i guess reminds me we are all only human. I was starting to beat myself up a bit about taking his life but have tried to convince myself that his pain has gone and he is happy somewhere. Apart from the loneliness i now feel, my life seems to have lost that little bit of something, that sparkle. In the following days after his departure i had a dream, which was probably just my subconcious trying to heal. In this dream i looked over at my patio and saw a dog sitting in the rain staring sadly at the ground. I remember calling him over and drying him off and giving him some food. The next day it felt like a great weight had been lifted from me and i started to fell a little easier, a bit more at peace. Once again thankyou everyone, this site has really helped me so far and my heart goes out to those who have lost.

      Kindest regards

      chewies dad - Richard

       

    • katrina
      katrina     Posted on Mar 08, 2012

      I am so sorry for your loss. What you are experiencing it perfectly understandable as gorgeous Chewie was such an important part of your life for some many years. There is no rule to the grief journey and some days it feels like it will never, ever end but in time, you will look back and be able to smile at the many beautiful memories.  Chewie has left pawprints on your heart forever and will always be a part of the person you are.

      Go easy on yourself and please know that everyone here on this page understands the pain you are experiencing and are here to support you through this sad time.

      Katrina xx

    • Cocolove
      Cocolove     Posted on Mar 06, 2012

      Chewie was so beautiful.  I am so terribley sorry.  I too lost our little dog (Lhasa Apso x moodle) only 3 days ago. He died after eating a tiny puffer fish during his morning walk.  Somehow we missed him swallowing it, and he died in my arms as my partner was desperately trying to drive us from our local vet to a better equipped emergency vet hospital, which was 30 minutes away. Our little Coconut was only 13 months old, and when we woke up on Saturday 3 March, we had no idea it would be our last hours with him.

      The guilt and the sorrow is so acute. It seems that since he left us, the world has fallen silent. The idea that I will have to navigate one more, let alone a thousand more days without him feels beyond me - as though my body is no where near large enough to house all this pain. The only thing I could think to do the day after he died, was to start a blog, so that my partner and I could journal our pain, and perhaps - although it seems unfathomable now - our slow recovery.

      I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. That your pain is not in isolation. I don't want you to feel as though your tears fall without company. Ours fall alongside yours.

       

    • julia
      julia     Posted on Mar 05, 2012

      Your beautiful boy Chewie will always be with you in your heart.... and the special memories of the happy times you shared, will be with you always....Julia

    • critchsu
      critchsu     Posted on Mar 05, 2012

      Hi Richard I know what you are going through I lost my beautiful dog of over 16 years last October and it still feels so sad without him, I still cry and think about him every day.  It will take time, and just go with it, I don't think you ever get over it but you just have to try and move on perhaps with a new pet one day.  Take care and best wishes for the future, Sue

    • chewieandrich
      chewieandrich     Posted on Mar 05, 2012

      Thanks for your comments Julia, it is helpful. Its been nearly a week and the pain is still there. I could have filled a lake with the tears that have flowed. Here's hoping he still loves me whereever he his. Sorry you have lost your friend also. I always had a soft spot for golden retrievers.

      Thanks

      Richard

    • julia
      julia     Posted on Mar 05, 2012

      I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss....Chewie was handsome fellow and what a gorgeous colour his coat was ......I lost my Frank (golden retriever aged 9) to cancer, in December 2010 and I put a tribute on here shortly after. I met some wonderful people who had also lost their pets, and we are still regularly in touch to this day (over a year on) even though we are thousands of miles apart. I dont think we completely get over the loss of a beloved pet, but with support and understanding from people who know what you are going through, it does get easier...... please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing..... Julia

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