My special baby boy Randy
|March 2010 - May 2012|
|Pet Type:||Cavalier King Charles|
Being my shadow and loving companion, loved spending time with his family - he was one of us
Loyal, loving, cuddly, always there every minute of the day
Words cannot describe the pain and emptiness I feel without you here by my side. As I write this letter to you I look over at your special spot in the lounge room and think of how you would sit there watching me as I worked through the day, eventually putting your head down to rest and then popping back up the minute I got off the chair.
I loved coming and giving you hugs and tummy rubs throughout the day and tickles under your ears, that was when I was telling you how much I loved you.
As insane as it was at the time I now cherish the way you would bang on the glass sliding door to be let in, I miss you pushing you head under my arm so you could get a pat or hug – what a special little man you were.
Coming home is no longer the same, your little face is no longer there peering under the gate or poking through the blinds at night. I miss hearing your cry to come in when we came home at night so excited to see us after a long day. Tonight will be the hardest when I come home from dancing and you will not be there to greet me at the door, I just loved you by my side.
I sat on the lounge last night and was so alone, I thought of how you would have been there staring at me on the floor and then taking two steps back and a big jump to make it onto the lounge to side next to me or even stomp all over me until you were comfortable and then you would rest your head with a sigh – oh Randy that was what I loved most. We would sit together each night watching all my late night shows and unwind together.
This morning I opened the door for you to go to the toilet and again when I came home from dancing. It just feels strange without it open for you to come in and out.
Jules, Daddy and I talked yesterday about all the special memories we had of you and there were so many we laughed at and many when I shed a tear. I thought I would share these with you;
- When you ate Dads pie before he got to sit down
- When you ate all Jules chips and left just two
- Each morning when you would sit at the toilet door making sure I was on the toilet before you went outside to go yourself.
- When Daddy went outside and had his smoke and you would venture outside while still keeping one eye on him to make sure he didn’t beat you inside
- When you would always follow us outside but rush us to the door to make sure you got back in
- The sound your ears made when you shook your head
- When you would trot into our room at night wagging your tail and banging all the blinds on your way, rest on Dads side of the bed and go to sleep snoring only for dad to take you out under his arm and you would groan all the way.
Most of all Randy I miss just seeing your little face light up each time I looked at you, your big bright eyes and your wagging tail keep popping back through my mind. Today I went outside and picked up a Palm Tree nut from the garden where you sat yesterday. I needed something to carry with me each day and I know that is why you took me down there yesterday. It’s in my pocket and I will carry it everywhere with me now and think of you.
I am so sorry for the pain you suffered. It all happened so fast and the only way I could show you I loved you was to be there for you. You time in hospital was hard I know and I came as often as I could and stayed with you. So many times I wished we were there just to get a wash but this time it wasn’t to be. When you were able to come home I was so happy and I know you were too. Your tail was wagging and you searched through the house. Nothing had changed we kept it all just the same for you.
Our last night together was tough I loved sleeping with you but I could see the pain you were in and knew you were not feeling the best. I just wished you would lie with me and go to sleep but it took you so long until your head rested on the pillow and you began to snore, you were so drained. I knew then our time together was coming to an end.
Randy, Camille said it was the gift of love that we gave you yesterday at 4pm. It was the hardest decision I have had to make, the moment came so quickly after I gave you a kiss and told you how much I loved you. You were so quiet and peaceful it was a special moment. Jules and I stayed for a while after just to make sure you went off into the heavens safely. We patted and hugged you and gave you so many kisses.
I wish I could have you right now under my legs while I am typing away but it wasn’t meant to be. I hope you know just how much we loved you in our very short two years together you will always have a very special place in my heart my little baby boy – I love you Randy.
Forever in my heart Mummy xxxx